


being called yours has set me free

by wnnbh12



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:09:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wnnbh12/pseuds/wnnbh12
Summary: Tobin's always hated the phrase 'fake it 'til you make it,' but she's come to realize sometimes it just makes sense.orFour times Tobin and Christen pretend they're together and the one time they really are.





	

**one.**

Very rarely does Tobin drink. When she does, it’s usually just reserved for celebrations after big wins. Even then though, she limits herself to the two shots Sydney and Megan will inevitably make her take and then a glass of either champagne or whatever drink Alex gets her that’s flavored sweetly enough to mask the bitter taste of alcohol. She doesn’t have a problem with drinking--she went to her fair share of frat parties at Carolina--but it’s just something she’s never really been interested in for herself.

 

She doesn’t let that stop her from going out to celebrate with her team though, and after their Algarve Cup win earlier today and the World Cup looming large, they’re out in full force tonight. They’ve barely been at the bar two hours and already Heather’s had to stop Crystal from dancing on a table, Becky’s had to ask the bartender for band-aids to clean up Meghan’s scraped knees and Lauren’s had to steal Sydney’s phone to stop her from posting a video on instagram of Ashlyn taking a sorry excuse of a body shot off Kelley.

 

There’s an overwhelming realization that the next time they could be celebrating like this could be after the World Cup and that just fuels them more. They all know Dawn will soon be cutting off their alcohol intake and putting them on even stricter diets than they’re already on as a last bit of World Cup prep and so they’re going to take advantage of this opportunity while they have it.

 

Tobin’s holed up with Lauren, Amy, Rachel and Alyssa at a table off to the side of the bar that’s up on a raised floor. It gives them the perfect view of the rest of the bar, allowing them to police their teammates and make sure if Kelley convinces Crystal to get up on the bar, they’ll be the first to see so they can swoop in and put an end to it.

 

Two tequila shots and about a third of the drink Alex got her--something fruity with very little vodka--are warming her blood, but she’s also sipping on her second water of the night, so aside from a light flush in her cheeks, she’s basically sober. That means she’s totally coherent when she hears Amy say, “uh-oh,” and looks up to see what’s going on.

 

Two guys are talking to Christen at the end of the bar and while she’s smiling politely and going along with the conversation, Tobin can tell all the way from here that Christen wants nothing to do with them.

 

“Those are the guys that were dancing with Kelley and Crystal when we first got here, right?” Rachel asks, studying the guys their whole table is now looking at warily.

 

She’s right. Shortly after they got here, these two guys zeroed in on Kelley and Crystal and asked them to dance. The two girls had gone along with it, but they’d gotten bored quickly and ditched them for Sydney and Megan. Tobin’s pretty sure they tried to talk to Ali and Alex next, but Ashlyn had shut that down quickly. It turns out these guys are relentless and now they’ve cornered Christen on her own at the bar.

 

They seem harmless enough, just obnoxious and a little too obvious, but Tobin doesn’t want to take any chances. “I’ll go rescue her,” she announces to the table, taking a sip of her water as she stands.

 

“Want any backup?” Amy asks, starting to go with her, but Tobin just waves her off.

 

“Nah, I think I’ll be fine. If I can’t get them away in five, then I might need your help,” she says as she starts to walk off.

 

“Throw up a bat signal,” Amy calls after her, referring to the distress signal the team has of scratching the back of your neck, then pulling on your ear to signal to any of your surrounding teammates that you need help escaping creepy drunk guys who can’t take a hint.

 

Tobin raises one thumb in the air to let Amy know she will and then weaves her way through the throng of people to go help Christen. Meghan tries to intercept her along the way and pull her onto the dancefloor, but Tobin simply mouths ‘bat signal’ and Meghan nods in understanding, letting her go with an encouraging, “Go save the day, Bruce!”

 

The relief that floods Christen’s eyes when she sees Tobin just as she starts to scratch the back of her neck in hopes that someone will see lets Tobin know she came at exactly the right time. She unceremoniously shoves past one of the guys so she’s pressed right up against Christen’s side, hips knocking together, and wraps a protective arm around her shoulders.

 

“Sorry guys, but I’m going to have to steal her away,” Tobin tells them, hoping they’re sober and polite enough to take a hint and leave easily.

 

Apparently they aren’t.

 

“We should think you dance with us, não?” The taller of the two asks in heavily accented English. He’d be a decent looking guy if he didn’t have a pound of gel slicking his blonde hair back and hadn’t already hit on half their team.

 

“No, I don’t think so,” Tobin says as politely as possible.

 

“Sim! Two you, two us,” the other guy says in broken English and points to his friend. “Is perfect now, we all dance.” He has wild, unkempt black hair that has Tobin thinking maybe he should have borrowed some of the gel from his friend in order to tame it.

 

“Não,” Tobin tells them firmly, using one of the maybe five Portuguese words she’s learned over the years, hoping using their own language will get through to them that they aren’t interested. “We don’t want to dance, sorry.”

 

“Come now, just one song,” the taller guy pleads, flashing what Tobin assumes is supposed to be an attempt at a charming smile, but just comes across as creepy in the dim lighting of the bar.

 

“Not interested. Have a nice night, guys.” Tobin’s getting frustrated now, but she’s still hoping she can get them to leave on their own accord because she really doesn’t want to cause a scene.

 

“Por favor?” The shorter guys asks, bringing his hands together as if in prayer. “We want one song only.”

 

Tobin’s flat out annoyed at this point. She was going to chalk it up to the language barrier at first, give these guys the benefit of the doubt because maybe they just genuinely didn’t know what they were saying, but they’ve made it clear they do and are apparently just relentless. She’s about to signal for Amy or someone else at the table to come help her out when she thinks of another angle. Maybe it won’t work, but it did earlier for Ashlyn, so it’s worth a shot.

 

She moves her hand low on Christen’s waist and says, “I told you we’re not interested, now I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave my girlfriend and me alone, all right?”

 

For as surprised as Christen must be by that line, she plays it off well, barely hesitating before she’s leaning into Tobin’s side and bringing her hand up to rest lightly against Tobin’s stomach, really selling it to the two guys. The taller one’s jaw drops open before he has the sense to close it and the shorter one’s eyes dart back and forth between them, wide with the disbelief that this is happening to them twice in one night after Ashlyn hounded them for flirting with Ali.

 

“Namorada?” The taller guys asks so quietly Tobin’s pretty sure he didn’t mean to say it aloud.

 

“Sim,” Tobin agrees. “I think it’s time you guys leave now, all right? Boa noite.”

 

“Boa noite,” the taller guy repeats back to her, grumbling as he tugs his still shocked friend away by the shoulder. They head down to an empty stretch of the bar and flag down the bartender immediately, clearly realizing they aren’t getting any girls tonight so they might as well just get thoroughly drunk.

 

“So you speak Portuguese?” Christen asks, taking a half step away from Tobin and tilting her head curiously as she takes a long sip of her drink.

 

“Não,” Tobin grins. “I can say ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ but that’s about it.”

 

“And ‘namorada’ apparently,” Christen teases, smiling bright as she sees Tobin’s cheeks flush. “I wasn’t aware we were girlfriends, but I guess I could do a lot worse.”

 

“I guess I’ll just take it that’s your way of saying thank you?” Tobin asks boldly, suddenly appreciative of the slight level of alcohol in her bloodstream for giving her the confidence to talk so freely.

 

“Thank you. Seriously, I really appreciate it.”

 

“Well then, you can thank me for real by joining me for the dance that we refused those guys.” Tobin takes Christen’s soft hand in hers and tries to pull her along, but the younger girl resists. “I should think you dance with me, não?” Tobin mocks the guy from a few minutes ago, relishing in the laugh it gets from Christen. “Come now, just one song.”

 

Christen still hesitates, but then she finishes off her drink and sets the empty glass back on the bar. She holds up a single finger and says, “Just one song, namorada.”

 

“Sim!” Tobin exclaims in victory, throwing a fist in the air and pulling a now willing Christen along with her to the dancefloor, blending into the undulating mass of their teammates already occupying the area.

 

Tobin loses track of how many songs they dance to, but it certainly isn’t just one.

 

 

**two.**

“Seriously, Tobin?”

 

Amy’s gentle chiding makes Tobin’s head snap up from where it’s been buried in her phone, thumbs furiously tapping at the screen. “What?” She asks incredulously, eyes darting back and forth between Amy’s narrowed eyes and Lauren’s amused ones.

 

“It’s our last team dinner with Lauren and you’re sitting there on your phone the whole time,” Amy complains.

 

Tobin’s cheeks flush with embarrassment and she locks her phone, dropping it into her lap and bringing her hands up to rest on the table so she’s not tempted. “Sorry,” she tells Amy sullenly.

 

Lauren laughs. “You’re fine, Tobin. Amy’s just getting some practice in for Ryan when he’s older. That kid won’t get away with anything,” she teases.

 

“Like you won’t be just as strict with your kids one day,” Amy counters.

 

Lauren rolls her eyes and says, “fair enough.” She turns back to Tobin and smirks. “What Amy _really_ wants to know is who you’re texting.”

 

Tobin knew this was coming, but she was really hoping it wouldn’t. This isn’t something she wants to talk about with them yet and especially not while surrounded by their entire team. Maybe if they were at the table alone she’d consider it, but Julie, Christen and Crystal are sitting with them. Tobin doesn’t need an audience for this and she certainly doesn’t want one.

 

“Nobody, I was playing a game,” Tobin lies, hoping they’ll drop it, but at the same time knowing them well enough to know they won’t.

 

Lauren and Amy both scoff. “Oh really?” Lauren asks just a moment before Amy asks, “what game?”

 

Tobin wracks her brain for a single game that she could be playing. Aside from a couple training apps, the ESPN one and the default ones that come with her phone, she doesn’t have a single game and her friends both know that.

 

“Tetris,” Tobin finally answers lamely.

 

It’s Amy’s turn to roll her eyes and she snickers, “You’re such a liar.”

 

“Tobin just doesn’t want to admit that she has a new girlfriend,” Lauren teases.

 

That catches everyone’s attention at the table.

 

“What’s this?” Crystal asks. “Have you been holding out on us about your new boo, Tobs?” Her grin is dangerous and Tobin knows she needs to play her cards right or Crystal will draw the whole team’s attention and then they’ll all be ganging up on her about it.

 

“No,” Tobin says sternly, trying to still smirk and be a good sport about it. “No way, definitely not a new ‘boo’. I’m just texting Jeff.”

 

“So first you’re playing a game and then you’re texting your brother?” Julie joins in. “Sounds totally legit.”

 

Tobin looks to Christen wondering if she’ll add anything, but she just gives her a sympathetic smile and goes back to her meal, chewing slowly so she has an excuse not to talk.

 

“Yeah, which one is it?” Amy questions.

 

“You guys are impossible,” Tobin grumbles, trying to follow Christen’s lead and get back to her food. Her phone vibrates in her lap and she’s hoping that they can’t hear it, but judging by the way their eyes all light up, they definitely did.

 

Amy’s hand darts out to try and take Tobin’s phone, but Tobin’s quicker and wrestles it away.

 

“Come on,” Amy pouts. “Tell us all your secrets. There hasn't been any good team drama lately.”

 

“You hate drama,” Tobin points out. 

 

“Only when it involves me.”

 

“It's not a big deal, really. Just drop it, please.” Just as she finishes saying that, her phone vibrates four times in quick succession, contradicting her words. 

 

“Sure. Not a big deal,” Crystal teases. 

 

“It's me,” Christen blurts out suddenly, earning her curious looks from everyone at the table, none more so than Tobin. “I'm the one she's texting,” she clarifies confidently. 

 

For a moment it appears Crystal believes her, but everyone else just laughs lightly and brushes it off. 

 

“Seriously, check her phone. They're all from me,” Christen insists.

 

Sure enough, the four messages Tobin just received and the one from just before that are all from Christen. Tobin hadn't even noticed Christen on her phone. If Tobin hadn't noticed, then she's sure no one else at the table did either so no one can argue. 

 

Tobin holds her phone up proudly and turns it towards the table. “See, all from Christen. You guys can stop harping me about it now.” The fib rolls effortlessly off her tongue and she sends a grateful smile in Christen’s direction. 

 

“What does ‘namorada’ mean?” Julie asks curiously. 

 

Tobin blushes. She'd forgotten completely about the name Christen jokingly changed hers to in Tobin’s phone that night in Portugal. She's gotten so used to it she doesn't even notice it anymore. She looks at the name and instantly thinks Christen. The two words are exactly the same in Tobin’s mind. 

 

“It's girlfriend in Portuguese,” Christen says effortlessly, a shy smile on her lips that's almost convincing. “Surprise, we're dating.”

 

Crystal lets out a barking laugh at that, throwing her head back and smacking her hands together. “Damn, Tobs! Get it!” The way she says it makes it clear she doesn’t believe Christen.

 

Julie, Amy and Lauren just roll their eyes and laugh at how hard Crystal’s laughing, clearly not buying it, but the way they’re smiling makes Tobin sigh in relief because she knows they won’t pester her anymore.

 

“You know Tobs, if you wanted a fake girlfriend, Christen wasn’t really the most plausible choice,” Lauren says.

 

“Yeah, Pressy is way too far out of your league. Nice try, though,” Amy adds.

 

“You guys suck,” Tobin grumbles, but she lets it go because at least they’ve gone back to their meals and aren’t trying to figure out who she’s texting anymore.

 

In truth, it’s Shirley she’s texting. They broke up before the World Cup, Shirley claiming they’d grown too far apart and needed to take time to focus on the tournament in front of them and not have to worry about their struggling relationship. Tobin hadn’t been as upset by it as she expected to be. Shirley was right. They’d grown apart and living in different continents wasn’t conducive to them fixing their relationship. It hurt, but she was okay with it. They agreed to still be friends and so that’s what they’d done.

 

But now, Shirley wants her back. She keeps texting Tobin telling her she thinks she made a mistake and she wants to try and fix things between them. Tobin doesn’t know what to do about it. She’s entertained the idea enough to let Shirley know she isn’t simply brushing her off, but she’s still distancing herself enough so that she isn’t leading the girl on.

 

She’s pretty sure she doesn’t want to try and fix things. She thinks she fell out of love with Shirley a long time ago, but it was easy to not realize that when there was distance. Their time with each other was few and far between and so it was always sweet to see each other after so long apart and that excitement meant Tobin was blinded to the fact she didn’t really want to be in that relationship anymore.

 

Tobin doesn’t like the idea of hurting Shirley. She doesn’t like the idea of hurting anyone, especially someone she once loved so dearly. But getting back together isn’t something she wants.

 

Shirley texted her at the beginning of dinner telling her yet again that she missed her. Tobin has been going along with it, trying to let her down politely, but Shirley isn’t listening to her.

 

Tobin hasn’t said anything about it to Lauren and Amy just yet. She wants to talk to them, but she has a feeling they’ll encourage her to try again. They love Shirley and they love how happy Tobin was with her when they first got together. Tobin isn’t that same person anymore, though. Shirley was her first real relationship and she’s learned so much about herself and love in general. It’s something she was so grateful for, and still is, but she’s changed and Shirley’s still the same. They don’t work together anymore, but Shirley can’t see that yet.

 

Once everyone is distracted by their food once again, Tobin shoots an appreciative smile over at Christen who nods down at her phone.

 

Tobin unlocks her phone and checks the messages Christen sent her. They’re all just random emojis, probably her most used ones based off of how frequently she uses them when texting Tobin. There’s another message that just came through. 

 

[Namorada: 5:54 PM]  
**_Laugh and then smile at me..that  
will really annoy them._**

 

Tobin does as she says, but the laugh isn’t forced. Anything that annoys her best friends is something she can get behind. It works. Amy and Lauren both shoot her a look with narrowed eyes before going back to their conversation.

[Tobin: 5:54 PM]  
 ** _Thank you I guess we’re making  
a habit out of pretending to be  
girlfriends_**  


[Namorada: 5:55 PM]  
 **_You’re the best fake girlfriend  
I’ve ever had..i guess this means  
you owe me a dance ;)_ **

 

Tobin laughs, not even paying attention to the looks her friends give her.

[Tobin: 5:55 PM]  
 ** _I’m very much okay with that. Time  
and place namorada. I’ll be there_**  


 

 

**three.**

“But why do we have to get the _vegan_ cookies? Vegan chocolate just sounds so… _wrong_.”

 

Tobin’s gone along with the rest of the menu Christen has planned for tonight. It's all organic and so damn healthy Dawn would cry tears of joy knowing they were putting something so clean into their bodies. Food is food to Tobin, so she isn't bothered. Chocolate, though, that's where she has to draw the line. 

 

“Have you even had vegan chocolate before? How do you know you won't like it?” Christen asks as she browses the zucchinis in the produce section for their dinner.

 

“I don't have to have had it to know I won't like it. I've had real chocolate and it can't be beat.”

 

Christen’s laughing as she rolls her eyes, reaching forward to inspect a zucchini that, to Tobin, looks exactly like the five others she’s looked at. “If you don't like them, I promise I'll take you to get ice cream after dinner. Just give them a chance. I think you might be surprised.”

 

“Fineeeeee,” Tobin whines. She knew Christen was going to get her way no matter what, but it was worth a shot trying to fight her. 

 

Tobin’s in California visiting Amy for the week and Christen invited her over to spend the day, promising her one of the best vegan meals she's ever had that Channing made for her last time she was home. Tobin admittedly has only had maybe four fully vegan meals in her whole life so there isn't much to compare, but she had jumped at the opportunity to spend the day with Christen before heading back to Amy’s the next morning. 

 

They spent the day biking around Palos Verde, Christen showing Tobin all around the city she grew up, and then they went on a hiking trail along the cliffs right on the coast, bringing the dogs with them to explore. It was an easy, quiet day spent laughing in the sun and Tobin loved it.

 

She enjoys hanging out with Christen. It makes her wish they'd become better friends earlier so they could've spent longer hanging out, but Tobin’s grateful it's happened now, so she'll take what she can get. 

 

“I don't think I ever realized you were vegan,” Tobin says as Christen finally seems content with the vegetables she’s picked and reaches for a plastic bag to put them in.

 

“I'm not, at least not exclusively. I try to eat as cleanly as I can whenever I can, but that doesn't mean I don't still crave a burger every now and then.”

 

“Burgers! We totally should've had those for dinner instead.”

 

Christen punches Tobin lightly on the shoulder, which Tobin pretends was so much worse, faking she's in pain until Christen’s eye rolls turn into light giggles. “You're ridiculous. I'll remember this tonight when you're telling me how much you loved dinner.”

 

“I'll believe that when I taste it.”

 

“Oh whatever.” Christen’s pushing the cart down the aisle, Tobin following along like a puppy, when she stops suddenly and whips her head towards Tobin. “The bathroom’s on the other side of the store, you know?”

 

“What?” Tobin asks in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

 

“You keep doing that little head bobbing thing you do when you when you have to go to the bathroom, but won’t because you’re afraid you’ll miss something. You do it during movie nights and extended games of Settlers all the time.”

 

That gives Tobin pause. She hadn’t even been aware that was something she did. Does Christen really pay that much attention to her that she realizes things like that? Tobin’s never heard anyone ever mention something like that about her. How often does Christen watch her where no one else has like that before?

 

“How do you know I do that?” Tobin asks.

 

Christen shrugs and reaches forward to pull a piece of lint off Tobin’s shoulder. “It’s just something I’ve noticed about you. I’ll go finish getting what’s on my list, you go and then meet me up front at checkout, okay?”

 

They part ways and meet back up five minutes later. On Tobin’s way back, she gets caught up thinking about how Christen not only noticed that she was bobbing her head, but how she also knew what it meant. Tobin doesn’t know of anyone else in her life that would have been able to do that. _She_ wouldn’t have even been able to do that. She never had any idea she had a tell like that. She probably never even would have realized if Christen hadn’t brought it up.

 

It’s flattering to know Christen cares enough about her that she’s able to notice something like that. She doesn’t catch herself grinning at the thought until her cheeks start to ache.

 

She’s managed to get her smile under control when she gets to the front of the store to see Christen standing off to the side of one of the checkout lanes talking to some guy wearing a too pressed shirt with brown hair he’s obviously spent far too much time styling.

 

Christen’s standing behind the cart with her arms crossed over her chest and her head hunched down in a way that’s barely noticeable, but Tobin’s able to tell. She knows Christen does this when she’s uncomfortable and in a situation she doesn’t want to be in. She’s seen it in bars during postgame celebrations and when movie nights in Megan’s room get particularly rambunctious and Christen gets overwhelmed.

 

Tobin doesn’t know who this guy is, but whoever he is, Christen doesn’t want to be talking to him. She knows she should step in and rescue her.

 

She throws her shoulders back to stand a little taller and makes her move. She wraps an arm around Christen’s waist and kisses her on the cheek. “Okay, babe, so I was thinking after dinner we could--” Tobin looks up at the guy like it’s the first time she’s noticed him there. “Oh hi, I’m Tobin, Christen’s girlfriend. And you are?” 

 

“I uh--I’m...I-I’m Rob. Christen and I went to highschool together. Did you uh--did you say girlfriend?” Rob shoves his hands in his pockets and takes a cautious step back, disappointed in his foiled attempt at picking up Christen.

 

“Yeah, she’s my girlfriend. Did I not say that clearly?” Tobin lets a hint of annoyance edge into her voice while still keeping a smile on her face, wanting to appear as passive aggressive as possible.

 

“No uh--no, you did.” He looks back to Christen, eyes downcast and so much less eager than they were before Tobin walked up. “It was good to see you Chris. Tobin, nice to meet you.” He walks away sullenly, throwing them one last disappointed look over his shoulder before he disappears down the snack bar aisle.

 

Christen chokes out a laugh and leans into Tobin’s side. “Oh my god, that was amazing. Did you see his face?”

 

“Good, the guy was creepy as hell.”

 

“You have no idea,” Christen groans. “He didn’t want anything to do with me in highschool and then as soon as he sees I’m a World Cup champion, suddenly I’m his favorite person. He somehow managed to get my number like a month ago and won’t stop texting me.”

 

“Whoa, what? Why haven’t you said anything?” Tobin looks back over her shoulder in hopes she can still see the guy so she can tell him to stay the hell away, but Christen takes her hand and pulls until Tobin turns her attention back.

 

“It’s not a big deal, Tobs. He’s harmless, just trying to get a taste of fame. He definitely won’t be texting me anymore now that he thinks we’re together.”

 

Tobin grins at that. “Habits die hard I guess.” She shrugs casually and leans her elbows forward on the cart. “Being fake girlfriends hasn’t steered us wrong yet.”

 

“Thank you,” Christen says softly. “But if you keep pretending to be my girlfriend, I might actually start to believe it.”

 

“Would that really be such a bad thing?” Tobin teases. It’s said like it’s meant as a joke, but they both know there’s an underlying literality to it. 

 

Christen pauses and considers Tobin’s question. Her eyes rake up and down Tobin’s body for a moment and her face breaks out into a bright grin. “No, I guess it wouldn’t be that bad.”

 

“I guess you owe me a dance now.”

 

“You never gave me my dance from helping you with Amy and Lauren, so technically you still owe me, which means now we’re even.”

 

“What if I change my form of currency and want to be paid in real chocolate chip cookies instead? I can pay up with your dance while the cookies are baking. Win win.” Tobin’s grinning like she just came up with the most brilliant idea ever thought of and by the way Christen starts grinning, Tobin knows she’s going to get her way.

 

“Fine,” Christen relents with a sigh. She starts pushing the cart away from the checkout lane and back towards an aisle Tobin knows must contain cookie dough. “Let’s go get you your cookies, but only because dancing in the kitchen is my favorite.”

 

“I knew I liked you.” Tobin winks in Christen’s direction before following along happily, grinning all the while.

 

 

**four.**

“Tobin, I swear if you let me fall--”

 

“I'm not going to let you fall.”

 

“I know, but if you do--”

 

“Chris, I _won't_.”

 

“But if you do--”

 

“I _won't_.”

 

Christen take a huge breath so deep her shoulders nearly touch her ears and then she nods. “Okay, let's do it.”

 

Tobin grins and lays her longboard on the ground at Christen’s feet. “Let’s do it.”

 

Tobin’s back in LA, visiting just Christen this time. Christen had invited her to come back after Christmas and stay with her before camp so they could train together. Tobin has a suspicion there’s more to it than just training together, that Christen wants to spend more time with her, but Tobin isn't complaining.

 

She wants to spend more time with Christen too.

 

She's started to see Christen differently the past few weeks. She’s started noticing more things about her, like the way she pulls on the corner of her lip when she's nervous or how she's always so meticulous when she puts her hair up before training or how cute she looks when she pads into the living room still half asleep with two cups of coffee to join Tobin on the couch for Premier League games. 

 

If Tobin’s being honest, she's started to develop something resembling feelings for Christen, but she's hesitant to call them that. Christen’s her friend. She's been her friend for years, but Tobin knows it isn't normal to want to know what your friend’s lips taste like. 

 

Tobin’s spent far too long wondering about that. 

 

They're on the sidewalk outside Christen’s place, where they've been for the last twenty minutes as Christen tries to work up her courage to actually step on the longboard. She’d asked Tobin to teach her as an offhand comment two days ago and then had essentially forgotten about it, but Tobin hadn't. She likes being able to teach people things she’s passionate about and she’s especially excited to teach Christen something she loves as much as longboarding.

 

Christen takes another deep breath and raises one foot to rest on the board. As soon as it starts to move slightly under her foot, though, she jerks back. 

 

“Longboards move, Chris. That's kinda the point,” Tobin points out with a wry grin. 

 

“I know that,” Christen bites back.

 

Tobin just grins even more at how defensive she's getting. Christen reaches out a hand for Tobin to hold as she sets her foot on the board again. Tobin takes her hand willingly, ignoring how soft and warm Christen’s hand feels in hers.

 

“You won't let me fall?” Christen asks again, needing one last reassurance. 

 

“I won't let you fall. Give me your other hand.”

 

Christen does what's asked of her and grips Tobin’s hand just as tightly as she already is the other. “Okay, I'm ready.”

 

xxx

 

The first five minutes are a little rough.

 

Christen flinches every time the board moves underneath her and she's got Tobin’s hands grasped so tightly, Tobin’s going to have to ice them later to help with bruising.

 

Tobin knows she's enjoying it, though. Underneath the fear, underneath the worry, Christen's having fun. Her eyes are lit up at the way it feels to glide down the empty street, even if she is only moving because Tobin’s leading her with two steady hands. 

 

Ten minutes later, Tobin’s only holding one of Christen’s hands. She walks alongside her as Christen kicks smoothly at the pavement, propelling herself at a slow, leisurely pace. 

 

“This isn't as scary as I expected. It's actually kinda fun.”

 

“I told you. You're a natural.”

 

“I don't know if I'd go that far,” Christen denies.

 

“You ready to go by yourself?”

 

The whites of Christen’s eyes become more visible as she processes this, but then she takes a deep breath and her shoulders lose their tension. “Yeah, all right,” she nods.

 

With one last gentle squeeze, Tobin let's go and Christen cruises down the street on her own accord. Christen has the biggest grin on her face as she goes, giggling as she stretches her arms out by her sides for balance, still getting comfortable.

 

“Tobin, look!”

 

“I know, I see,” Tobin beams, happy that Christen can’t see the smile she has on her face because she knows it would betray her. It would give absolutely everything she’s feeling away and she isn’t so sure she’s ready for Christen to see that yet. Tobin’s still figuring it out herself, she doesn’t want to try and explain it to Christen until then.

 

Once she’s sufficiently down the street, Christen stops herself gently and turns the board back around. Tobin chuckles at the small breath she sees Christen take before she steps back on the board and kicks herself back in Tobin’s direction.

 

“You know, this isn’t really that hard,” Christen tells her once she’s back within speaking distance.

 

As if by some twist of cruel fate, Christen starts to wobble just as the words leave her mouth. Whether she runs over a rock or just loses her balance, Tobin will never know, but Christen starts to fall forward and Tobin’s too far to catch her, but she still tries.

 

It happens in slow motion.

 

Christen falls, reaching her forearms flat to catch herself to save her wrists. The board, still moving forward with her momentum, lands directly under her face, forehead cracking against the lipped edge on the back of the board. She lands with hard thud and a whimper.

 

All Tobin sees is red.

 

There’s blood blossoming along Christen’s forehead and some on her forearms as well.

 

Tobin closes the distance between them as quickly as possible and kneels by Christen’s side. “Oh god, are you okay?” It’s a stupid question to ask, she’s bleeding and cringing and so clearly not okay, but Tobin doesn’t know what else to say.

 

“Fuck, my head hurts,” Christen whimpers. She reaches up and touches her forehead, pulling away to see it stained red. “Ouch.”

 

Tobin reaches forward tentatively, pushing Christen’s hair away from the cut as best she can. “I think you might need stitches, Chris. There’s really a lot of blood. Oh god, Jill’s going to kill me if you have a concussion.”

 

“No, I’m okay,” Christen assures her. “I just need to wash the blood away and get pressure on it. I’ll be fine.”

 

She tries to stand, much to Tobin’s dismay, but she doesn’t know what to say to stop her. She knows it wouldn’t be worth it anyway because if Christen wants to stand, then she’s going to stand no matter what Tobin does.

 

Christen can’t stand, though.

 

She’s too wobbly and she ends up falling against Tobin’s chest.

 

“Okay fine, maybe you’re right.”

 

“Let’s get a towel for your head, then let’s get you to the hospital.”

 

Christen whimpers as Tobin pulls her to her feet and leads her into the house with an arm wrapped firmly under her shoulders.

 

xxx

 

The ER is fortunately slow when they get there, so they only have to sit in the waiting room for about fifteen minutes before a nurse calls Christen’s name. They both rise from their seats to follow after her, but the nurse holds her hands up to stop them.

 

“I’m sorry, family members only back in the exam room,” the nurse tells Tobin firmly.

 

Tobin’s face falls. She knows how much Christen hates hospitals. She knows how much she can’t deal with pain and Tobin doesn’t want to leave her alone when she’s most definitely going to have to get a few stitches.

 

Christen’s quick to come up with a solution, banged head and all.

 

“She’s my fiancée, it’s okay,” Christen says smoothly.

 

Tobin doesn’t know how she manages to keep her face in check when those words hit her ears, but she does. She nods along and does her best to grin over at Christen like a loving fiancée would.

 

It doesn’t take that much effort, honestly.

 

The nurse glances between the two of them skeptically, clearly not believing what Christen says especially when she notices the lack of a ring, but she lets it go, not wanting an argument. “All right, follow me.”

 

She leads them back to an exam room and Christen hops up on the crinkly white paper stretched across the exam table. The nurse tells them a doctor will be with them soon and closes the door softly. As soon as the door latches, Tobin turns around to face Christen.

 

“Fiancée?”

 

Christen shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I didn’t think girlfriend was gonna cut it this time.”

 

Tobin laughs softly and steps forward until her hips rest against Christen’s knees where they hang off the table. “How’s your head?” She brings two fingers up to Christen’s temple with a feather-like touch, as if she’s afraid if she touches her she’ll hurt her even more.

 

“I’m all right. Thanks for taking care of me.”

 

“Of course, I’m just sorry I didn’t catch you after I promised I would.”

 

“I’ll forgive you on one condition.”

 

“Anything,” Tobin promises, fully intending to keep this one.

 

“Hold my hand when I get stiches? You know how much I hate pain.”

 

Tobin does her one better. She takes her hand now, wrapping her fingers around Christen’s palm, thumb tracing the thin skin along the inside of her wrist. Christen sucks in a breath and Tobin would be lying if she said it didn’t make her mouth go dry.

 

The room feels warmer all of a sudden and it takes Tobin a few seconds to make herself look up and meet Christen’s eyes. There’s a smile playing at her lips and for the first time, Tobin notices the dusting of freckles she has on her chin. They’re subtle, really only visible because of the way the light hits them, but Tobin knows she’ll never unsee them.

 

She wants to run a finger along the pigmented skin and so she does.

 

Tobin brings the thumb of her free hand up and brushes it across Christen’s chin. The smile falls from Christen’s lips and her pupils go wide. Tobin doesn’t miss when Christen’s gray eyes move down to Tobin’s lips.

 

They don’t move.

 

“Tobin...” Christen breathes out softly.

 

Tobin hums in response.

 

Christen reaches out and lays her hands on Tobin’s hips. She opens her legs a bit so Tobin can step between them, closing the distance so that it’s almost nonexistent.

 

“Tobin, please don’t make me ask.” Her breathing is quick, matching Tobin’s and she leans her head millimeters more forward.

 

Christen may not want to ask, but Tobin will.

 

“Chris, can I kiss you?”

 

“God, please do.”

 

Tobin leans forward and presses their lips together softly.

 

It isn’t like any other first kiss she’s ever had. Time doesn’t stop. Her head doesn’t spin. Her heart doesn’t race. Her hands don’t shake.

 

Instead, everything clicks into place. Everything suddenly makes sense to her--the way she feels about Christen, the way she feels about relationships, the way she feels about life in general. The moment she kisses Christen everything snaps into focus and Tobin knows she’s a goner. One kiss and Christen already feels like home for her.

 

Yeah, she’s definitely got feelings for Christen. There’s no way in hell she can deny that anymore, no way she’d want to.

 

It only lasts a few seconds before Christen pulls away wincing. Tobin’s eyes go wide as she asks what’s wrong, terrified she did something to hurt Christen.

 

“You’re okay, my head just hurts.”

 

Tobin sighs and kisses Christen one more time, but she doesn’t step away.

 

“What does this mean?” Christen asks between shallow breaths.

 

“Let’s get your head stitched up first, then we’ll figure it out,” Tobin says, brushing hair away from Christen’s face.

 

“Okay,” Christen grins, moving to kiss Tobin’s cheek.

 

The doctor chooses then to walk in and Tobin’s grateful for the chance to be able to step away and collect herself while he starts examining Christen’s head.

 

Tobin can’t stop the grin on her face every time Christen glances over at her. She holds Christen’s hand the whole time, not even minding when she squeezes particularly hard when the needle pierces skin.

 

Standing there next to Christen, studying the slope of her nose and the way the freckles on her chin stretch around along her jaw before they fade away, Tobin knows she’s made up her mind. She knows she and Christen still have a lot to talk about, but she’s in this.

 

Tobin never would have imagined almost a year ago when she was pretending to be Christen’s girlfriend in that bar in Portugal that she would find herself here now, on the cusp of making that charade a reality.

 

But Tobin wouldn’t change a thing.

 

 

**one.**

They’re in a hotel room in Dallas when Tobin decides she’s ready to tell Lauren and Amy she’s with Christen. She wants to tell them in person, but with her busy schedule and them being in different parts of the country, it can’t happen that way.

 

Tobin tells Nikki and Casey earlier in the day as a sort of trial run. Casey gushes and Nikki asks her when the wedding is. Christen’s beaming when Tobin tells her how well it went with her friends and it gives her the confidence she needs to want to tell Lauren and Amy.

 

They hadn’t wanted to tell people so soon, but after Kelley walked in on them making out in Tobin’s bed three days earlier (thankfully the sheet had been pulled high enough that Kelley thinks they were only making out and hadn’t been able to see Christen’s hand down Tobin’s pants), they didn’t really feel they had a choice. Kelley promised them she wouldn’t tell, but they both know the girl well enough to know keeping secrets isn’t her strong suit. They knew sooner or later, she’d confess to someone whether she meant to or not and they’d really rather get in front of this before Kelley doesn’t give them a choice.

 

“Are you nervous?”

 

“Why would I be nervous? They’re my best friends and I know they’ll be happy.”

 

“Then why do you keep cracking your knuckles?”

 

Tobin stops immediately, lays her hands flat across her thighs. She blows a sharp breath through her teeth and turns her head to look at Christen. “It just--it feels different this time, telling them I’m with someone. I don’t know.”

 

“What’s so different about it?”

 

“I’m not sure. It just--feels different with you. More real or solid or whatever.”

 

“Or whatever? You’re so romantic, babe. How’d you ever manage to land me?” She drops herself into Tobin’s lap and wraps her arms around her neck, kissing her softly. “Talk to me, tell me why this is bothering you so much.”

 

It takes her a few moments, but she finally figures out how to word it. “This is big, Chris. I’ve never felt like this before.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like this is serious, real. You aren’t like any other girl I’ve dated before. This is deeper. This is important. I’ve had no issue telling them about any other girl I’ve dated and I think that’s because I always had a feeling deep down it wouldn’t work out. With you though, it’s like I don’t want to jinx it.”

 

“Oh, sweetie.” Christen leans in to rest her forehead against Tobin’s. “You know you don’t have to tell them if you aren’t ready.”

 

“No, no,” Tobin insists. “I _want_ them to know, I promise. I’m just letting this settle in what it means for me first.”

 

“Want to make out until then?”

 

“Oh definitely.”

xxx

The first part of her Skype session with Amy and Lauren goes smoothly as usual. They catch each other up on what’s been going on in their lives and both of Tobin’s friends let onto all the details of their pregnancies, even though it’s way early for Lauren and there isn’t much to tell.

 

They’re all laughing at Tobin insisting that both of them must name their kids after her when there’s a lull in the conversation and Tobin can’t hold it back any longer.

 

“Hey guys, there’s something I need to tell you.”

 

“Does this have to do with who you’re dating?” Amy asks with a smirk.

 

“Wait, what? Why would you say that?”

 

“Tobs, you’ve been all smiley lately and you keep dipping out of the group text for hours at a time claiming you’re ‘busy’ and then you dodge our questions when we ask what you were doing and change the subject,” Lauren chimes in.

 

“Yeah, and you were in Cali for almost three weeks and didn’t text me once to hang out. Clearly you were busy with someone else,” Amy adds.

 

Tobin can’t help the flush that creeps up her neck, which leads to incessant teasing from her friends. It takes several minutes of jibes and Tobin complaining for them to stop before they finally do.

 

“So are you going to tell us who this girl is or are you going to make us harrass you until you finally cave?” Amy questions.

 

“Okay, but you guys have to actually take me seriously. I’m not joking about this, I swear.”

 

The both look at her skeptically, but they nod and tell her they won’t accuse her of lying. That all goes out the window though when Tobin utters Christen’s name and Amy’s jaw drops as Lauren starts laughing.

 

“You guys,” Tobin whines in frustration. She knew no matter what they said, they’d react this way. “This isn’t funny, you jerks.”

 

“I’m sorry, Tobin, but you’ve tried to convince us once before you were dating Christen and that clearly was a joke, so you can’t really blame us for not buying it this time,” Amy reasons as she starts to laugh, not nearly as much as Lauren did, but enough that Tobin becomes petulant.

 

“You guys are the worst friends ever. Not even Casey or Nikki laughed like this and they’re practically children.”

 

“Wait, you told Casey and Nikki about this?” Lauren asks.

 

“Why are you trying to pull this over on all your closest friends?” Amy adds.

 

“Because I’m not joking,” Tobin says simply. “I’ll prove it.” She waves towards Christen who’s sitting on the balcony outside the room, giving Tobin her privacy until she’s needed. She stands right away and makes her way inside. Tobin gives her a reassuring nod and then she sits next to Tobin on the bed, fully in view of the laptop screen. “I told you I wasn’t joking.”

 

“You guys sitting next to each other proves nothing,” Lauren points out.

 

“Well, then this should.” Christen tilts Tobin’s face towards her with two fingers on her chin and kisses her right on the mouth. It’s chaste enough to not put on a show for their friends, but deep enough they’ll be convinced. She pulls away with a grin and runs a thumb along Tobin’s bottom lip to wipe away any traces of herself. “Does that prove enough?”

 

“Whoa,” whispers Lauren.

 

“Holy shit,” Amy gasps, which is particularly surprising because she never curses.

 

“Wait, this is legit? Like you’re actually together?” Lauren asks.

 

Tobin threads her fingers with Christen’s, making sure their joined hands are visible on the screen. “How else do you think I got her to willingly wear my UNC shirt? She didn’t even complain about it.”

 

They don’t tell them the real reason she’s in the UNC shirt. They don’t tell them that Tobin always asks Christen to wear it because there’s something so hot about Christen in her Carolina blue. They don’t tell them Christen wearing this same shirt last month led to them fucking in every room of Christen’s apartment.

 

They definitely don’t tell them that.

 

“How’d you manage to pull this off, Tobs? I know Christen couldn’t have fallen for your dumb jokes and lazy personality, so how’d you do it?” Amy teases.

 

“That’s a really good question, actually. Christen’s way out of your league,” Lauren adds, continuing the jokes.

 

“You guys are so mean to me,” Tobin grumbles. “Why am I friends with such jerks?”

 

“You chose us. You’ve got to accept the consequences. Amy loves having me as a friend. You should be more grateful.”

 

“Lauren’s right. We’re great friends. You should appreciate us more.”

 

“Whatever,” Tobin complains with an eye roll. “You guys suck.”

 

Christen leans in and kisses her on the cheek, always knowing just what she needs. She waits until Tobin grins over at her and then kisses her softly on the lips and whispers, “I’ll always be your friend.”

 

“I’ve never seen you smile like that,” Amy says in disbelief. “I mean, your smile is ridiculous all the time, but this one’s different. You’re really freaking happy, aren’t you?”

 

“I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.” She says these words directly to Christen. She needs her to know just how important she is to her. She snuck up on her in the most beautiful way possible and she wouldn’t change a thing about it. She needs to make sure Christen knows just how happy she makes her.

 

“You guys are grossly adorable.” Lauren says it like she’s annoyed, but the smile on her face and way her eyes are lit up tell Tobin she’s thrilled for her. Lauren’s always been like a second mom to her and the evident pride on her face now is just further proof of that.

 

“You better be good to her, Christen. I may be tiny, but I’ll still beat you up if you hurt Tobin.” Amy does her best impersonation of a boxer to really sell the point home.

 

Christen does her best not to laugh at Amy’s antics and actually take her seriously. “I have absolutely no intention of hurting her.” She turns to Tobin and scrunches her face up in the most adorable way that Tobin can’t help but kiss her. Maybe she lets the kiss linger a little too long though, because Amy starts fake gagging and Lauren acts like she’s been blinded.

 

“Oh, shut up. I’ve had to deal with you guys making out with your husbands for years. It’s payback time.” Tobin kisses Christen again just for good measure, but she’s quick about it this time. The UNC shirt is doing things to her again and she’s losing her self control. She really should have asked Christen to change before this.

 

“As long as you’re happy, buddy. That’s all we want for you. Both of you.” Lauren has a hand resting over her heart as she says this, like she’s swearing the promise to god.

 

“For real, guys. You both look really happy. That’s all that matters.” Amy’s sincere smile turns sinister and Tobin really should’ve expected her friend’s follow up line. “I’m going to be spending your entire relationship wondering why Christen makes such poor dating choices, but if you’re happy then I’m happy.”

 

“We’re very happy,” Christen assures them as her fingers start to twist around the ring on Tobin’s finger.

 

“Very happy,” Tobin agrees.

 

They end the call not long after, Amy claiming exhaustion because pregnancy makes her need for naps even more extreme and Lauren excusing herself to get ready for date night with Jrue. Amy cries when they hang up, blaming it on her pregnancy hormones, but really they all know she just hates goodbyes. She cries over skype sessions ending even when she isn’t pregnant.

 

Once the call’s over and Tobin’s laptop is tucked away in her bag, she stretches back across her bed, arms opened wide. “That went a lot better than I thought it might.”

 

“Did you really think they were going to be mad about us dating?” Christen leans down and folds herself into Tobin’s side. Usually she’s the one who prefers to hold Tobin, but she makes exceptions now and again.

 

“No, I didn’t think they’d be mad. I just thought they’d harass me about it a lot more than they did. I think you were a good buffer for that. They don’t want to say too many mean things to you, even if they are just jokes.”

 

“Why wouldn’t they want to be mean to me?”

 

“Being mean to you is like being mean to a puppy. It would’ve made them assholes.”

 

Christen rolls her eyes and adjusts so she’s got her chin resting on Tobin’s chest, eyes glued on Tobin’s. “I’m proud of you for telling them. Do you feel good about it?”

 

“So good. It feels really great to get it out in the open. I don’t feel like I’m just pretending anymore.”

 

“We were really good pretend girlfriends, though,” Christen points out.

 

“True, but being your real girlfriend is even better.”

 

Christen can only nod in agreement.


End file.
